Marriage in America

Waiting (longer) for Mr. and Mrs. Right

May 25, 2006

BY ANDREW HERRMANN Staff Reporter

When Jeren Wall was in her early 20s, as a student at Illinois State University, she was "just trying to get somewhere, figure out where I fit in life.''

Wall figured it out -- today, she's a police officer in Lockport. And, come May 19, 2007, she'll be a bride -- at age 26.

Trying on her wedding gown Wednesday at House of Brides Couture, 730 N. Franklin, Wall said she is better equipped now to be the wife of fellow officer Randall Szmergalski, 29, than she would have been when she was younger. "I'm more responsible,'' she said.

Jeren Wall, 26, tries on her wedding dress Wednesday at House of Brides Couture, 730 N. Franklin, with the help of senior sales consultant Nidia Gotangco. (JON SALL/SUN-TIMES)

MEDIAN AGE OF FIRST MARRIAGE

YEAR	MEN	WOMEN
2005	27.1	25.8
2000	26.8	25.1
1990	26.1	23.9
1980	24.7	22.0
1970	23.2	20.8
1960	22.8	20.3
1950	22.8	20.3
1940	24.3	21.5
1930	24.3	21.3
1920	24.6	21.2
1910	25.1	21.6
1900	25.9	21.9
1890	26.1	22.0

SOURCE: U.S. Census

Numbers have been creeping up

Wall is typical. The U.S. Census says in data to be released today that the median age of a first marriage for women is now 25.8. For men, it's 27.1. The numbers have been creeping upward for decades.

Through the 1950s and early 1960s, women typically married around 20 and men around 22.

Those Ozzie and Harriet years were an aberration, says Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage (Penguin). In the late 1800s, American men got married around 26 to brides who were about 22. The mid-20th century numbers were influenced by the GI Bill, which covered college costs, and a post-war prosperity that provided jobs, she said. Plus "there was a tremendous romanticization of marriage.''

In one poll from that era, about 80 percent of men thought it was "immoral or neurotic to be a single person,'' she said. "There were huge pressures on people to marry.''

The census numbers don't tell the whole story. Those with higher educations today get married even later than the median, said Coontz, who is the director of research at the Chicago-based Council on Contemporary Families. Coontz welcomes the trend.

"Changing gender roles means marriage takes more negotiation,'' she said. "There's a higher expectation of sharing the breadwinning and the nurturing'' duties -- which requires more maturity, she said.

Divorce rate higher for young

University of Chicago marriage researcher Linda J. Waite said younger couples tend to end up in divorce court at higher rates. Young people are "not fully formed,'' she said. "You change quite a bit between 20 and 30.''

Some studies have also suggested there may be a link between testosterone levels in men and divorce. With testosterone beginning to decline in men in their late 20s compared with their teens, it's possible that "lower testosterone makes better husbands'' because of fewer affairs and less spousal violence, Waite said.

Divorce rates have stabilized since the 1980s and may be around 40 percent now, Waite said. One reason for that might be the recognition of the huge costs of divorce -- financial and emotional -- but people getting married at a more mature age also might contribute, Waite said.

96% over 65 have been married

The census report, "Families and Living Arrangements: 2005," also found that 72 percent of men and women between 30 and 34 have been married. For Americans over age 65, 96 percent have been hitched.

But the number of Americans living alone increased from 17 percent in 1970 to 26 percent in 2005, the report said.

At the House of Brides, salon manager Debbie Chanel said younger customers tend to go with "Cinderella-style" gowns with long trains and elaborate beadwork. Older brides, even those marrying for the first time, go for a more "urbane and sophisticated" look.

"They're not so much about the big show,'' Chanel said.